Should we dress them in straightjackets?

"Should we dress them in straightjackets?" I ask my husband. "Do you think our hosts will notice?" I wonder with a smirk. "Are you sure you want to go?" checks my husband. "They invited all of us," I reply. "I guess we should review the rules." This is a teachable moment. We remind Child #3 that he must sit at the table and not wiggle. My husband adds, "No scratching your armpits. No touching your private parts." And for the two oldest, "No burping." Remember, this is a house of boys. The kids are in peels of laughter. We are all laughing. This is a real family. And they live with demented parents. There is no hope for them.

We arrive at our gracious hosts: Arlene and Bryce Geres. Arlene is a principal at Old Yale Road and one of my buddies. They are having us for lunch at their place in Mesa. They are brave. Fortunately, we are saved by the iPads. She has three. It keeps the three youngest busy while the rest of us visit and trade travel stories. Lunch is fabulous with my favourite--asparagus, then burgers all around, and huge bowls of salad. Bryce is a great chef. 

Child #3 is sitting on a chair with wheels. This is the wiggle boy. He discovers it rolls. Back & forth. I give head signals. Doesn't work. He stills rolls. He is smiling and having fun. Husband gives him cue. Child is oblivious. We carry on conversation and ignore child. I wonder who that child belongs to? Our hosts are kind to our children. We pack away ice cream sandwiches for dessert. We did not go over the rules well enough. Child #3 eats nothing but asks for a second dessert. I'm mortified but hosts are generous and pass seconds out to all the boys. 

We leave Mesa in a rainstorm that soon turns into snow. We pass several car accidents. I remind husband to go slower. I hang on to chicken bar. We arrive at Sedona in the dark. Sixteen year old must now go running with me in the snow. We tramp out in minus 2 degree weather. Not enough of a bootcamp. I make husband go for a walk with me. The snow-draped trees and cacti are quite magnificent. We have a fireplace in our room.  It feels like Christmas.

By Mom.

Snowing In Phoenix?

Sunday, March 18th.
Today, I decided to have a change from my usual breakfast. Waffles. Then, we left the hotel to go back to Sedona, on the way back there we went to stop at a friend of Mom's. In the car, our parents lectured us about etiquette: sit down, be quiet, no burping, no scratching your armpits... Till my Mom panicked because she had no flowers to give. Uh, oh... Fortunately there was a store nearby. We found the retirement home and as we pulled up to the drive my Mom realized she knew nothing about Mr. Geres. We males reassured her and helped her out: he's a male, he has a winter home in Phoenix, he's married, he's retired... We had delicious hamburgers and ice cream sandwiches and we visited till the rain and hail poured down so hard that we couldn't hear each other. When we left we drove down the newly created river and onto the road. On the drive, it was snowing extremely hard. However, we made it to Sedona safely. Mom and my oldest brother went for a walk and had a snowball fight (Mom won).

Ethan

Yikes! Trails Closed?

March 19th, 2012 (Monday)

     We wake up to a decent six inches of snow. (I'm in the US, that's why its not metric.) The clouds are huddled around the red rock buttes with fog struggling to lift off. Small flakes are still spinning down. I can't believe it. We drive to the trail head. Closed. We get snow in Canada and don't close the trails. This is not good news. Plans shift.
     We head to Sedona to walk around at the Mexican Village Tlacquepacque. This is a maze with corridors, stairs to a second story, hidden railings and fountains. A perfect place for the boys to stage an all-out snow ball fight. I fall victim. Snow in hair, on hoodie, ski jacket and in purse along with my camera. Great. I find the loyal husband and tell him he is in charge of the errant children. I'll take a responsible child and go into the shops that have breakable things. I find toy store and buy word game for the trip home. I make it through intact. Oldest child is with the wiggling child. Things don't fair so well. Wiggling child topples whole Hot Wheel display in toy store. Oldest is mortified. Unbelievable. He leaves embarrassed. We find husband. He didn't know there was a toy store. He heads up there with the youngest. This precious child also reaches up at the now fixed Hot Wheel display and sends it cascading. Someone should have warned them we were coming.
     I show weakness at tourist trap candy store and buy cactus jellies for the boys. Not a success. "Blecch," they say. So much for expanding their cultural horizons. We corral kids back into the car (yes, there is crying over the candy) and I pass out cheddar  popcorn to keep them quiet. We land in downtown Sedona where I have thirty minutes to canvas the streets. The cloud cover is drifting off and sun lands on the orange-red rocks. We leave. No time for tourist traps.

Oldest child and I head out on roads with mountain bikes. We check the main trail. It is still closed. Smart child finds a different trail on opposite side of street with no sign on it. No sign must mean it is okay. We go for it. He bikes. I ride too but mostly I push the bike up the dips. I am chicken of the snow and slippery red sludge. I walk the bike down the dips. I ride the straight parts and small downhills. We have round red clay dots flicked up on our jackets, bikes, pants and even my glasses. The view is otherworldly. He bikes. I stop for photos. The ride is a short 60 minutes but it is glorious. Son is thrilled.

We head home and I grab other child. It is late afternoon and the land begins to glow. We head for a run on the roads and discover a trail circumnavigating a golf course. The backdrop is red rock buttes. We run for thirty minutes with quick stops to take pictures. We finish and I grab loyal husband and two youngest. We walk from out motel to the closed trailhead and take pictures from the parking lot. The red buttes are vibrating and glowing in the fading sun. The children are cold. He heads back. I stay to catch the last rays glancing off the hills. If I don't show up back at work, will anyone notice?

By Mom.

No More Waffles?

Monday, March 19th.
Today, I missed my usual breakfast of waffles. I had cereal instead. After breakfast, we went out into the snow to the car. We drove to different starting points for hiking and biking. However, most of the trails were closed so we went to a Mexican village. In the U.S. When we got out we started to walk around and look at the shops. Once in a while someone would throw a snowball at someone and a snowball fight would erupt in a state known for warm weather. We split up, Mom and me going our own way while Dad took care of the other kids. Some of the shops were neat, like the music box shop and the candle shop. Some, such as "Just Us Girls," I'd prefer to skip. We went to the toy shop and then to a jewelry shop were we met Dad and Ellis. Elliott and Elijah had run off. We learned that Elijah, in attempting to reach a Hot Wheels package, toppled a display. However, I wanted to show Dad some things at the toy store. We went back and then Ellis toppled the display trying to reach a set. Next, we stopped at a candy shop. We bought some cactus candy which the two smallest wanted; the two oldest wanted something else. Not finding anything (cheap enough), our penny pinching Dad led us outside. We discovered my youngest siblings upset. They didn't like the look of their candy. However, I took it and found the candy delicious. We went home and my Mom went mountain biking in the snow with Elliott. Returning tired and exhausted she went for a run with me. We took a bunch of photos but there's a catch (we staged the photos)...

By Ethan.

This Ditch is a Deep One

March 20th, 2012 (Tuesday)
I didn't lose anyone over the cliff edge. That is always a good sign. The Grand Canyon had been blanketed in snow so the Rim Trail was covered with ice and snow patches. The wiggle child was told clearly he must not run and hop on the boulders on the edge of the precipice. The ditch is a deep one. These instructions were repeated in many variations, numerous times. We rode the bus (cars aren't allowed) out to the far end of the trail and worked our way back both on foot and by bus. Walk, walk and more walking. Full sun, blue on blue sky, shining white snow and the great expansive Colorado divide--the first view is always the most inspiring. I'm not sure if the boys were as significantly impressed. The novelty of the slow bus ride wore off pretty fast. We arrived back at the van at 5 pm. We scrambled into the car and headed west. We almost chose north: Paige? Then we couldn't decide: south or west? Palm Springs or Vegas? I drove, the regular chauffeur sat in the front seat to read maps and guidebooks. Some days are just like that...the decisions are spontaneous. We were in pursuit of warmer weather. Finally, at 8 pm at night we decided to travel as far as Lake Havasu. We arrived late and finally found a motel with a room after our seventh try. This is the spring break season of college madness. Although it was after 10 pm, I made the 16 year old go running in the dark with me. He was a good sport about it. Meanwhile the chauffeur carried the sleeping kids into the motel room. We were grateful to get a room given the last-minute spontaneity of our decision. I know this: the forecast for tomorrow is 29 degrees.

By Mom.

A Burro?

Tuesday, March 20th.
Today, we left Sedona driving in the snow for the way home driving. For breakfast we had cereal. Again. My Dad then decided that instead of going home right away we would go to the Grand Canyon. We went out to look and even though there was snow on the ground my Dad insisted we put on suntan lotion. We walked for a while looking at the Grand Canyon. Even though I didn't see anything so grand about it... We took the free bus along the Grand Canyon here, there and everywhere. After we admired the scenery we went to our next hotel. On our way, after the two youngest kids fell asleep, we went to a Pilot Travel Center and my brother and I had a Wendy's Froster. As we left we noticed a flashing neon sign stating "Caution. Burro Crossing." We drove on and a while later Elliott stated, "Wow, that guy is watching out for gophers." My Mom, Dad and me laughed. I tell them I thought he had said "golfers." We laugh some more. Dad asks if we know what a burro is. I tell him yes. Dad says it's a donkey. Mom adds it's a "xxx" [insert inappropriate word]. Way to set an example!

Bliss: Chained to Digital Devices

The pool, a really good book (The Connected Educator), pistachio nuts and water--that's how I started my morning. Oh, the kids? They were imprisoned in the motel room and chained to digital devices. That worked for me. I had two hours of uninterrupted bliss and, actually, so did they.

Waves washing over them

Then we strolled along the paved walk around the canal at Lake Havasu. The walkway was crowded with scantily clad spring break college kids. There were folks giving away free frisbees, Monster and SoBe drinks to anyone walking passed them. Our children don't get specialty drinks at home (we thrive on mostly milk, water and juice) so they enjoyed the opportunity to sample extensively. After bottling up, we left for the semi-private beach at the State Park. We enjoyed alfresco lunch without the crowds. The smaller children began building with stones, dumping water, moving rocks, and engaging in free play at the edge of the water. For them, this was much more fun than the Grand Canyon.
As the sun was setting, we went to Sara Park to go mountain biking. Unfortunately, it became too dark, too fast. The oldest zipped around and jumped over rocks. He had fun. I watched and kept my mouth shut. I can not ride like him. I walked the bike more than I wanted. The ride was short. The oldest loaded the the bikes back on the rack at the back of the van and I finished the workout with a run. The blogging child was forced to run with me as we were in a deserted area of a desert park in the dark.  I was thankful I could run. I have arthroscopic knee surgery in less then a week and I hope to show up on the operating table in decent shape.

By Mom.

Walking Our Dogs

Wednesday, March 21st.
Fortunately, our motel had a continental breakfast. Unfortunately, there wasn't a waffle maker. Fortunately, there was some nice chocolate goodies. Unfortunately, they were disgusting. Fortunately, there was white bread which Dad says is a big 'no-no' in our house. We left the hotel just in time so we wouldn't have to pay an additional $100 for late checkout. We then went to a beach where companies were passing out free drinks; Monster, SoBe... We picked up a few and then went to a less crowded beach. We had some sandwiches and then some raspberry chocolate chunk ice cream. Mmmm... Good. We went to our new hotel, Island Suites. It's a nice hotel with a TV that can be changed to view from each of the two rooms and this really cool chair which is a cross bethween a rocking chair, armchair and a swivel chair. It's a much sought after place to sit in our family. After this we went to walk our bikes in the dark. Some people walk their dogs. Other people walk their bikes.

By Ethan.

This day is a gift

March 22nd, 2012 (Thursday)

Heading out on the desert trail

If it is good, then one should repeat it. Hence, the children read, played lego or went on computers while I read two chapters of my book, undisturbed, poolside. Then the oldest and youngest came down to join me. Why does my five year old, in a wet bathing suit, climb on top of my warm and dry body? Why does the five year old eat pretzels while balanced on top of my stomach? And, he is oblivious to it all because he is so busy talking. This is a good thing. Then more kids arrived. I would like to say that due to my exemplary parenting skills we had a lovely time splashing, playing and enjoying the pool. Ha! This is no fantasy vacation. There was a tug-o-war over the kick board, fighting over the 5 year old ("No, I get to play with him"), dunking, splashing, and lots of whining. I threatened, cajoled and finally was grateful when the beloved husband showed up. It takes both of us to manage these boys. And it is moments like this that I wonder what the true definition of a holiday really is!

Butt first then oldest jumps down 8 ft slide

We dashed off for lunch, took a walk down the crazy boardwalk loaded with spring break revellers, and a quick trip to the second hand bookstore looking for something to help pass the time on the long drive home. That begins tomorrow.

Last chance for crazy bootcamp today. We head out to Sara Park earlier so we don't get trapped in the dark. We have no plans and we left the trail map at the room. The two boys and I ride across the ridges, down through the washes, and arrive at a slot canyon glowing pink in the fading dusk. The colours are magnificent. We drop the bikes. We don't have much time. We run then jump and hop over smooth pink boulders as the canyon wall curves and narrows to an eight foot slide. Feet first, butts down, we slide it. Whoosh. We climb walls. We get as far as we can until we are blocked by a pool of stagnant lime green water. I am not for wading in it. The light is gone and we must get back. We reverse our climb, our run, and hop on the bikes to ride out from the murky purpled desert. This is the way to celebrate the end the vacation. This day is a gift. I am blessed.

Walking Our Bikes Again

Thursday, March 22th.

Blogger boy hikes the slot canyon

I woke up really early and went down to the continental breakfast. Why do almost all the hotels/motels we go to have continental breakfasts? Not that I'm complaining... I met a couple down there which lives in Langley. Hey! That's where we live!

Mom went to the pool and I did some homework. After we went to a used bookstore and got some books. We had chocolate chip ice cream. Mom was at the pool and I was her new pool boy.

Mom had a lot of fun walking her bike yesterday so she decided to walk her bike again. After about a mile Mom got tired and put the bike down. It was also a little rough so Elliott and me both left them too. We went pretty far till the path was covered in water. Then we had to turn back.

For our last night, we went to a Mexican food restaurant where the menu and food looked a lot like the one in Sedona. The food was excellent.